Telling friends and family

I'm at the point in my diagnosis that I really have to start telling my friends and family what is going on. While there are a few people who know already, it is the friends I see less frequently and the family to whom I am reluctant to tell this kind of news that I really need to address now.

I sent an email last night to the women of the mothers group I joined more than 8 years ago when my oldest was born (can it be that long ago?). We have remained in contact and pretty close over the years, even with different schools and moves and all the changes families go through over the years. These are women I admire and care for. It was unbelievably difficult to tell them that I have cancer. Another mom and a dear friend in our group was diagnosed earlier this year with breast cancer and I know, at least for me, the news was devastating. To see a friend in pain is so hard. I don't want to increase their distress but I don't want to hide what is happening either.

I ran into one of the moms a few weeks ago at the grocery store and, in that moment, I realized that I had to find a way to tell them the news and to give them the opportunity to help out if they wished. The middle of Safeway is just not the place to break this kind of news.

It is that last piece that I still need to get and accept. I will need help. I'm not very good at accepting help; never have been. My husband, and now my boss (have I mentioned that my boss is a Pastor?) feel it is impotant that I accept that I will need help through this, both with the day to day activities (soccer, school, gymnastics, groceries, etc.) and with the emotional and mental toll (therapy, really?). So, while I think about the whole "professional listener" thing, I am taking steps to ask for help with the stuff I can quantify. The Yahoo Group and calendar should be set up soon. A friend is helping me get this together and will help me add friends and family to the group to let people help me.

If I haven't said it enough, I am very grateful for the help my friends and family have offered, and I do humbly accept. I'm not as clear about the depth of my thanks in person. Thank you all for the help you have offered and the help you will provide in the coming months.