What to do while waiting

My surgery is in 5 days. Friends have been asking me the past couple of days how I'm doing, am I ready, and is there anything I need.

I'm managing, mostly I'm just working, trying to get things in order before I have to be out for more than a week, getting ready for the Bible study we host on Saturday, stocking the kitchen, writing tons of notes for my husband and my mom about the girls' schedule, lunch box foods, homework and upcoming tests, and mostly trying not to think about what will happen in 5 days.

And, in perfect honesty, I'm also trying to wear every good bra I own and every cleavage-requiring top I have because I won't get to wear the bras again and the tops won't fit the same ever again. Fake breasts, whether prosthetics or implants, don't sit the same as real breasts. (Warning, boob discussion comes next) Most women who nurse end up smaller and saggier than before. I didn't. Yes, the boobs are less perky than when I was in my 20s, but they are fuller and I have actual cleavage. Nursing for 3 1/2 years didn't flatten me out, it gave me boobs I didn't have before. Like most women, my boobs aren't foremost in my mind, especially since I stopped nursing. But, the thought of not having any breasts at all because of a cancer I can't even feel, and even more so, the thought of having an implant that is not me and has no feeling at all, saddens me in ways I never thought possible. I need to not think about that.

So, for the next 5 days, I'll work, take care of my girls, spend time with my husband, prepare for the Bible study, write notes for my mom, and try my best not to think too much about what I have to do next Wednesday.