Is there a right way?

I had two conversations this week that made me worry about how I've dealt with the cancer. One was with a dear friend, the other was with my mother. Both love me and want the best for me. They are both concerned that I haven't really made any changes in my life after the cancer and surgery. I haven't really done this cancer thing right.

So, following on their concerns, I did some research. According to the sites and articles I looked at, after cancer, one is supposed to do one or more of the following:

• Change your diet
• Change your exercise routine
• Cut back on work
• Cut back on social obligations ("Learn to say no")
• Start taking yoga or pilates or meditation classes
• Take a vacation
• Take up a new or long-desired hobby or avocation

That was discouraging. I haven't done any of those things. I work a lot, I kept the same diet I've had for the past 20 years, I exercise as many days a week that I can given my husband's and children's schedules, and I try very hard to keep up our social obligations.

I work because I have to, I take care of my husband and children because I love them, and I try to keep up with our social obligations because I want our family to be active, engaged members of our community. Cancer has to fit into that life. Right now, at this point in our lives, I don't have the time, money, or opportunity to change my life because of cancer.

I suppose if I knew why I got cancer in the first place, I'd be able to change that thing. But, since I've never smoked, I don't drink heavily, I've been a vegan for the past two decades, and I've exercised regularly for years, I don't know what to change to keep from getting cancer again. So, maybe I'm not doing the post-cancer thing right. But then again, no one gave me a guide on how to deal with having cancer, so I'm not sure that there really is one "right" way to live post-cancer. At least not right now.