Real life filling in

A friend sent me a note recently asking why I hadn't posted in awhile. I replied that work and kids and travelling husband had kept me away from the blog. This is true, life has begun to fill back in where cancer had taken over for awhile.

So, to catch up, Tamoxifen leaves with as much destruction as it enters! The hot flashes and eye problems and mood swings ticked up for a few weeks and then, just last week, I realized it was getting better, much better. My cycles have returned with a vengeance as my OB predicted, but that is nothing compared to everything else I've been dealing with the past few months.

Training for the Avon Walk has been going ok, not as much time to talk as I'd like, but I feel pretty confident that I'll manage it. The best part has been talking with my wonderful friends who are doing this with me and watching their sites as they've all raised the needed funds! Less than 2 weeks to go! Carole and I will do one last long training walk this week to prepare, then we'll finish packing and making all the arrangements to meet up with everyone and do the walk on the 12th and 13th! A friend at church challenged me this week. He said if I can do the Avon Walk, I can certainly do the San Jose Marathon in October, hmmm.... One challenge at a time!

I also want to bring up what I've been doing at work. The church I work for and am a member of recently decided to sponsor a refugee transition house in San Jose. This partnership with Catholic Charities and other churches will allow us to make a significant impact in the lives of refugees as they arrive here to begin their new life in San Jose. Working on this project and preparing for the first arrivals to stay in our house has been a huge learning experience as well as an enormous reality check about what we have and what we have to give to others who have suffered unspeakable deprivation, torture and slavery. This work, that I learned about only because I was investigating projects for the church, has already begun to change my life and the lives of everyone who meets and works with the refugees. It is a huge project and one that feels overwhelming at times, but I try very hard to remember three things. First, this isn't me leading it. God has had a hand in everything that has happened so far and the amazing connections that brought this work to us in the first place. Second, every bit of help makes a difference in some one's life. Third, we will get better at this because we have good partners and teachers to lead the way. More about this work on the church web site, http://www.newlifesanjose.org/compassion.php.

So that's it. Real life filling in where cancer took up so much time for the past year. Do I still deal with the aftereffects? Yes. Do I still fear recurrence and want to do more to stop it? Of course. Do I still hate that morning shower when I see my chest the way the surgeon left it? Oh my yes. But, do I also have more times through the day when I don't think about the cancer? Thankfully, yes.